verse of a madman

gone gone and gone again

Wed, 11 Aug 2004 09:39:27 GMT

yeah my internet's been all messed up lately so i cant even see if this posts n yeah. im gonna be gone from hella early thursday morning til sometime on sunday so i guess if ya feel the need try to gimme a ring on the cell cuz i maaaay have service whoooo knows but yeah ill see all yus when i return. lata ya'll

the disaster march

Sun, 25 Jul 2004 10:33:45 GMT

once again i come back to this and have to somehow sum up my life since the last post. i dont even know where to start, hell i dont even remember that last post i wrote. jesus i cant remember half this fucking summer for god's sake. but whatever ill do my best.

friday fucking rocked. spent forever trying to get grog but it eventually came through so me n heeeella other peeps went down to palo alto to see the o2w and finer points show. after that most of us went up to woodrat to celebrate john q's brief return to the bay area but that fell apart faster than bush's reconstruction plan for iraq. so we departed and went to katy's.

and thus the night began,

right from the get go i started to drink and drink and drink. im pretty sure i almost vomitted at one point or maybe i did a lil but i just kept drinking and drinking throughout the ENTIRE NIGHT. i remember at one point no one had pants on and for some odd reason i got a kiss for a cookie and i remember having an amazing talk with dro and melissa broke emily's mirror or somethin and that was bad news but the rest of the night was fucking tiiiiight. mucho props to katy for throwing such a great bash. was tight meeting chris and justin too, theyre tight guys. and thats a good portion of what i remember. i could go into more detail but i dont even wanna do that.

so somehow afterward i toppled over to the van with roof n alley and we napped til i dropped em both off then slept ALL FUCKING DAY. it was beautiful actually. just been reading n shit. so now im here and a lil tired cuz its like 3:30. but yeah thats enough banter for one night.

i got a free house from sunday night to thursday evening or something so call me n we'll party it up. later ya'll.

a single belief

Tue, 13 Jul 2004 09:00:32 GMT

the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage most likely won't pass!!!!!! im so fuckin happy about that like wow. that bastard in the oval office has already left a permanent scar on the side of america that we all gotta live with and i dont want it getting any deeper.

other than that, things could be better. been writing fairly little lately which may have something to do with how im feeling. ive been consumed by confusion lately and its driving me insane. or maybe im just not doing enough drugs whoooo knows. only thing that pisses me off more than being confused are misunderstandings. not even gonna TOUCH that in ere. gives me a headache even thinkin about em. just to throw the idea out there, if i'm ever involved it one and you reelly know me, ask yourself if i would actually mean anything id say like that honestly. wow that sentence came out reelly awkwardly. yeah you know what i mean. i hope.

yeah well ive got football tomorrow so im off. damn this was a shiiiitty post. god i dont even care anymore. id say ill return with a more enlightening and happy post but well...... yeah dont count on it. later ya'll.

p.s. i need something to fill me up

silence = death

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 09:09:53 GMT

wow that subject reelly seems to fit.

well ive been mighty quiet here for a while so i thought this calls for an update. so its been a good two weeks since ive touched this damn thing so lots of stuff has gone down. well not quite lots but it almost seems like it.

warped tour was today and it fuckin rocked. great sets all around and i even lost my shoes. bad religion, bouncing souls, anti-flag, casualties, nofx, ima robot, alkaline trio, flogging molly and many others im forgetting all put on great sets and it was a damn tight ass day. picked me up some new shirts and i talked to the peeps running the punkvoter booth about propagandhi (who they love as do i) and they were the sickest peeps at the damn place. mucho props to them.

been doin pretty well in football i suppose. im up to 125 lbs. from 110 when i started and its all muscle thank GOD. got passing league on the 11th which should be tiiiiiiiight.

been cuttin back on the drinkin actually. i mean ive still been having a good ol' time but well yeah much less than earlier.

seed of doubt might be practicin next week which should be tight. im hella lookin forward to gettin back in the scene.

i crave for the scene dammit.

yeah ill update eventually whooooo knoooows when. call me anyone please im as bored as everyone else. 799-7259

a sudden intake of breath

Sat, 19 Jun 2004 04:06:52 GMT

yet again i come back to this with only excuses for not updating and well.....i honestly dont care. i mean its summer time and ive been a busy lil fucker jesus christ.

got a heeeella long football tournament tomorrow so im staying in tonight and putting a whole lotta my vinyl on cd. hopefully the hard work pulls through tomorrow and i can at least do a semi-alright job. deets on that in a day or two who knows. well im off to finish some more seed of doubt material.

the guitar calls.

so complicated was the fall

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 07:53:46 GMT

me n roof need to drink and kick it more often and talk politics more often. doesnt get better than that. i mean just having a deep unrestrained conversation with anyone is amazing and it makes me soooo happy to do. but yeah its tight i suggest you all do the same its life changing and fun at the same time.

hopefully a long update to come soon. who the fuck knows though im a busy bee dammit.

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 07:41:24 GMT

ya know, summer is just a whole lotta nothing but its much needed i swear. in the last week and a half i know for a fact ive learned so much about myself and everyone around me than about math or english or any of that at LEAST. insane, you're all great peeps and all you greats know who you are.

the love just radiates.

keep it coming ya'll its gonna be a looooooooong summer. just keep it positive and itll be a great one.

The Keys to Life vs. 15 Minutes of Fame

Wed, 09 Jun 2004 00:13:28 GMT

yeah been a very long week. summers here. still confused bout life. very good and not so good things are happening but whatev. way too busy to update it seems. yeah ill update eventually.

Wed, 02 Jun 2004 06:24:12 GMT

ive so much to say, yet no mouth to speak out of. ive so much to give, yet can figure no means to deal with it. i have a pain in my heart and i do not know how to fix it. im falling apart at the seams and have no stitches to repair myself.

something is not fucking right.

it just doesnt click ya know? it doesnt fit together. i just dont get it. theres so much to it yet its so simple and i have so much to write yet i can not type. this is useless. im sure ill spill when i can get together my thoughts.

this is fucking useless.

broken english

Tue, 25 May 2004 06:17:45 GMT

three lil notes for today:

wish i could see people more

wish i had more time for music

wish i could find a fucking drummer

if yu can help with any of these lil notes, please do tell. especially that last part thats a toughie.

the olive branch

Mon, 24 May 2004 04:17:32 GMT

one thing that pisses me off more than unnecessary fights are ones that have people taking sides that dont even know what the fuck is up.i mean shit. all i know is that i had an interaction with someone who had an issue with somethin i did because they thought i didnt think shit through and was just being a moron even though i clearly told the person i knew what the fuck i was doing and that they too had done the deed under much worse circumstances. nothing gets through. i just want peace. i dont want all this shit being thrown back and forth and these assumptions need to fucking stop. i dont want ANYONE thinking a person is better than someone just for some stupid ass shit that affects NO ONE aka drinking or not drinking or any of that sort. it doesnt fucking matter. i dont see the issue here. if yu dont drink or smoke or anything, thats kool just dont think of yurself as higher than someone who does JUST CUZ. if yu doooo do those things, dont think of anyone else lower than yu just cuz they choose not to do anything. i mean it reelly doesnt matter. plus i mean before sides are taken (i dont even like saying that) know what the hell is going down. three comments to someone's livejournal post discussing this deal with me i didnt even know who these people were, i mean one of em said something about throwing away a relationship for that person trying to care??? thats bullshit right there. get yur facts down. ive made plain fucking clear i dont want any of this and that i DO listen. i got no problem if matt or carissa or joyce or greg or jon or anyone else want to do their own thing just dont pull all that shit on me. i mean pleeeeease just show some fucking respect. thats all i ask for. you can dislike me, i mean i wish it wasnt like that but i mean if yu reelly dont like me that much, whatever go do yur own thing, just show me some respect. i dont like naming names cuz now i just know one of these people are gonna get a hold of me saying 'oh well i didnt do this'. this is a general statement. not everyone did this or that. i cant fucking stand this shit. look im sorry if i offended, upset, angered, disappointed, or any other emotional reaction i could get out of anyone. i just cant take this. someones gotta take the first step. im willing to put this out there and hope SOMEONE understands. i dont even know how this all came about. i just know that there was far less troubled water just a lil while ago and it can go back if we can just show some respect. just please someone help me fucking out. okay im done. ive tried. i dont know what else i can do but put this shitty ass little rant out there and hope for the best. ill say it again, i apologize for whatever the hell i did if i had anything to do with this schism. im sorry. yu all got the screen name or digits if yu wanna talk about this. thanks for reading this. please bring the unity back.

all the people now

Thu, 20 May 2004 06:35:43 GMT

yeah ive been heeeeella busy making shiznit up for that week of skool i missed so i havent even been going online much. not a bad thing im just not used to it. expect an almost full recovery lets say by next week. aight well im still hella busy with football n such plus got the physics field trip tomorrow. tight.

just one match will burn this town

Tue, 18 May 2004 06:21:30 GMT

got a couple new cds so thats all im reelly payin attention to. spring training started today. wooooo. yeah im done for tonight.

a hero appears

Mon, 17 May 2004 05:54:57 GMT

i'm just a wishful puppeteer

Sat, 15 May 2004 08:07:28 GMT

oooooookay i have no fuckin clue how that last post got sent four times but now im hellsa confused. whatever i guess.

good news week

Sat, 15 May 2004 08:04:14 GMT

wow its been a long long week.

left for the mosaic project with colin on sunday and just got back tonight which is friday. god it was amaaaaazing. all the staff and other cabin leaders were all sooo tight and i love em all. got to partay and make a fool of myself at times while at others i think i might have actually made a difference in some kids' lives. some of those kids are def gonna make a difference someday. i give em my full hopes and love. read colin's post from today with some great quotes from the week. some great things were said and he got a couple of em. there were def more though so ill try to remember em.

notion! - 'alex...before you start getting frustrated...you need to start making some fucking sense.'

cabin thailand - ' WHO ARE WE??? WE IS THAILAND!!!!!

ian - 'well i dont think i can follow kara's whole accidental whore situation but i UUUUUSED to solicite if that makes up for anything' (then one who shall remain nameless responds in a very meek voice 'ten bucks back there right now'

lauren - ' yeah so i just kinda wrote on her book yay for vaginas'

rolo - ' i dont care if this is the mosaic project or not, those guys were being little pussies'

john - 'and that kid theos like oh can i just finish my lunch, i got here late and id just like to finish my pickles'

kia - ' so i just kinda turned around and let out a muffled scream in front of the girls and then had to explain to them if i didnt do that id strangle that little bitch when she got there'

jason - 'hey mambo come here.......when i wake up, and put on my make up...... i have a little dream of you....(then drives away)'

more lovable quotes to come when i can remember em

lata ya'll

good news week

Sat, 15 May 2004 08:04:09 GMT

good news week

Sat, 15 May 2004 08:03:10 GMT

good news week

Sat, 15 May 2004 08:02:36 GMT

struck by a wrecking ball

Sat, 08 May 2004 06:53:12 GMT

okay ive been sooooo busy lately.

id write in here more often but ive been packed for the last week with things such as:
football
class/homework (making up shiznit n such)
fine tuning a new batch of songs i wrote
lisnin to the new nekromantix album

heeeella busy. but yeah nothing reelly goin on. justin, roof, dylan, grace, ally, and alaina just left after we chilled at my place for a couple hours. was pretty tight i had a good time with em all. took a nap in my van during fifth period and again afterskool with justin carissa n candace justin's sister. then went to the mall where we met up with colin, kevin, aaron, kyle, joyce, psalm, jenna, rachel, spady, and greg and other peeps. just kinda wasted time til we went over to justins n watched that movie gothik which was a PIECE OF SHIT OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. fuckin ridiculous. whatever. i gotta do some homework to get my grades up.

oh yeah me n colin are gonna be gone all next week from sunday afternoon till probly late on friday. workin with kids in napa's gonna be a bitch but whatev. i might update before then but who knows. well thats it for me im off. later all.

anti-violent

Thu, 06 May 2004 06:11:19 GMT

been hellsa busy n just reel fuckin lazy. update on some other night. yeah.

Tue, 04 May 2004 03:38:52 GMT

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

i cant tell if this is a good or bad thing.... at least he's a tight guy.

Tue, 04 May 2004 03:34:30 GMT

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

well at least its a great movie

cheat to win

Sun, 02 May 2004 07:25:02 GMT

yeah dont have time to write now. ill make a big post tomorrow of this very eventful weekend in its entirety n such. cuz yu KNOW yu care.

im still waiting

Thu, 29 Apr 2004 06:02:12 GMT

sup ya'll.
been a pretty boring week so far. today just came to skool hella late and gave blood and that was pretty much the extent of anything almost semi-interesting. oh and the skool did a very nice job of wasting an hour of my life with all those speeches. props to jena, lisa and shane. they'll win. at least they better the rest all bite haaard. i coulda sworn i saw monica porter weeping as shanes video was on. got a good laugh outta that one. come on now she KNEW she was fucked when he started makin that speech. poor gal. too bad i dont care.

yeah so like in my english class on tuesday me n thayer made an interesting observation. we were chillin in the back probly talkin shit about people seven feet in front of us cuz the ENTIRE period all they discussed was all that dumbass drama at prom. and we realized that their lives all revolved around shit like that. skool dances. and the exact same people whose lives are only shit like that are the same ones who are the ones who start drama n shit and it just kinda pissed me off. these peeps got nothing better to do. at least SOOOOME people have other things going for them other than taking the proficiency exam, take a class or two at csm (which theyll obviously fail) and working as a cashier at hot dog on a stick wearing that dumbass hat for the rest of their lives. god people suck.

then during tutorial me n roof overhear all these convos where these jock guys kept gloating about doing all this dumb ass shit and being proud that they got caught. what fucking morons. made me realize just how little all us get busted. we're all pretty damn good at keeping low key and NOT driving 75 miles an hour down el camino at one in the morning while having a carload of drunks n being stoned yurself. damn. even in my peak of 'hooliganisms' in my car i didnt pull shit like that. goddamn. whatever.

fridays gonna be tight. at least it better be. me n justin are takin the train down to palo alto cuz i dont wanna deal with driving n going to that free show. beeeetter be sick i swear to god. thats all i have to look forward to right now. cept like...... summer. grrr.